Trek Dirty to Me: 61 days until I head to the mountains and I'm thinking about trail hygiene and critical mass beard.

I was texting today and sent one of my customized Animojis in response to a particularly funny text. I looked deep into Mr. AJ Animoji’s hollow, squinty, crying eyes and no longer recognized the many I used to be. I decided that I must immediately edit this phony with the new me. The new me in the form of an updated Animoji…

So, the progression:

Old Mr. AJ Animoji

Closer…

Nailed it!

Classic AJ rebooted!

Thoughts?

Anyway, New Year, New Emoji! But I’ve spent a lot of time in the weeds of Internet Appalachian Trail and thru-hiker research, Instagram, Facebook, etc., and there is that ‘embrace the stink’ and let the beard grow to its extreme mentality. One of the top items that apparently are tossed into ‘hiker boxes’ (sort of recycle boxes for gear along the trail) is deodorant in the early days as folks end up realizing their particular brand is useless against the stink and the trail. Farewell grooming!

Alas, my Trek Dirty to Me project doesn’t quite have the freedom of the newly liberated ‘hiker trash’ (it’s a term of endearment within the hiker community, trust me). I must be able to move between the worlds of the trail and the towns along the way in order to be able to conduct interviews in restaurants, kitchens, hostels and inns along the way. One of the first lessons you learn in culinary school is the importance of hygiene. Same for hospitality. And I intend to respect those standards and expectations.

So I think that I have a fairly decent system worked out for my travels and interviews along the trail and in the communities. I have assembled a pretty liberal ‘bounce box’ (one that will certainly continue to evolve in the two months leading up to my departure date, as well as on the trail. This bounce box goes where I want and need it as I move from Georgia to Maine. The rest of the time, I live with my toiletries and grooming items available in my pack for those unavoidable moments where I will be without the box.

So…What does this look like?

• On the Trail

  • Two Lightload towels will pack up super small and weigh next to nothing and just provide something a little more substantial than a bandana to take care of the sweat, wet or whatever else stands in the way of me being dry.

  • Five days worth of ec30 personal hygiene basics. Because of the ingenious decision to eliminate all moisture from Procter & Gamble’s amazing Leave No Trace products, I can have separate hand, face and body washes to pair with separate shampoo and conditioner. One day’s worth of all these products weigh about as much as a couple of bandaids and take up the equivalent space. And they have no additional packaging like bottles or tubes. I’ve been testing these out for a couple of months and absolutely love them.

  • I can’t afford to embrace the stink, but I am well aware of the limitations of deodorant. Lucky for me, the Internet knows me very well from my research over the last couple of months, and Big Brother found Nuud anti-odorant that lasts for 3-7 days (even during high levels of exertion and sport) due to a magic vegan and cruelty free mix that involves silver for fighting bacteria, but no fragrance, aluminum, vague chemicals or alcohol. I am happy to keep this small tube in my pack and potentially (depending on its effectiveness) transfer it to my bounce box that I access less frequently.

  • Bite toothpaste bits have been my tooth cleaning vehicle for a couple of months now. Bite bits are all-natural, tiny breath mint-sized discs that you lightly chomp on and brush away using a little water or your own saliva. It works perfectly and leaves my breath super fresh. Also weighs maybe a gram a pop and doesn’t involve any plastic tubes to toss when you are finished.

  • I love my Sonicare toothbrush and am fairly obsessive about my brushing regimen. That being said, my Sonicare requires charging about every 10 days and has a tendency to crap out on me during trips. To avoid this and the need to add another specific charging device to my gear, I decided to replace it with a Quip sonic toothbrush that runs for three months of twice-daily brushing on one AAA battery. I’ll have to replace the battery and brushing head once during my six months on the Appalachian Trail. It’s a ‘luxury item,’ but absolutely worth it to me and still weighs less than 3oz.

  • I love a good Q-tip, and I have definitely overused my share over the years. The Internet somehow realized this and introduced me to Last Swab that has replaced my thousands of cotton swabs and single-use plastic. It works great and weighs nothing. The case also can hold a week’s worth of Bite bits. So double win!

  • I have a 1oz grooming kit that includes scissors, tweezers and clippers that can all double for First Aid tools.

  • A small plastic comb from Red’s Classic Barbershop in downtown Indianapolis. A little piece from home and my hometown barbershop. I have mastered hair and beard maintenance with this tiny dude.

  • A featherweight signal mirror that weighs less than half an ounce and doubles as…well…a signal mirror.

• Bounce Box

  • To keep the beard from getting too out of control, I have spent the last couple of months using the Philips Norelco OneBlade which trims, edges and shaves and keeps my ridiculous sideburns from going to 70’s Elvis on the world as a bonus. A charge lasts forever (not that it matters because I can recharge it as needed since it is in my bounce box) and the blades last months before needing to be replaced and are widely available in pretty much every Wal-Mart or drug store across the country.

  • My Gillette Fusion razor from who knows how long ago. For those closer neck shaves when I feel like it.

  • Replacement ec30 hygiene products (to refill and use off-trail)

  • Replacement Nuud (to refill and use off-trail)

  • Replacement Bites (to refill and use off-trail)

  • Beard Oil from The Bearded Bastard! This was a major award from an Instagram giveaway and I luckily nabbed the prize. You need to feed your beard, and I am a firm believer in beard oil and balm. And it makes me feel pretty. And it’s in the bounce box.

And there you have it. Combined with my town clothes and Trek Dirty to Me and Books Bourbon & Bacon apparel, this is how I plan to respect but not fully embrace the stink and maintain some level of hygiene and civility to interact with the world off-trail. What do you think?

-AJ

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