Trek Dirty to Me: 48 days until I'm gone baby gone (to the AT), and let's talk about bears.

If you ever decide to thru-hike the Appalachian Trail (or, as I have heard, the other big trails), I would highly recommend skipping the dedicated Facebook groups for critical advice. In this particular case, whether to store your food in a carried bear canister or food sack (bear resistant or not).

The question of which storage device to use comes up on the group feed almost daily recently, in the weeks leading up to the ‘official’ kickoff of hiking season. And some dude (or dudes, but I have never seen a dudette) brags about how you don’t need a bear canister OR to hang your food sack along the very beary Appalachian Trail. These same dudes will often follow that up with how they used their food sack as a pillow, and all the nonsense about bear storage is political or some bullshit.

Then there is the crew that preaches how bear canisters are too heavy and to just throw a bear bag over a tree. While better than the pillow idea, this has its issues as well. Others, like Outside Magazine and thru-hiking demigod Andrew Skurka recently have made their cases to let the idea die that hanging food bags as a first resort is a best practice of camping.

I learned to properly hang a bear bag when I was maybe eleven or twelve years old. I got pretty good at it. Eventually. But I was really bad at it for awhile. Multiply me by a few thousand first-time thru-hikers, most of whom may not have even practiced how to hang a bag until they are actually on a trail. Now consider that bears have figured that shit out as well, and routinely tear into these rookie bags.

Now consider that bears are often the least of a hiker’s concern in many situations, as mice and other rodents and my adorable trash pandas have a pretty solid chance of using their tiny limber bodies to get all up into that ramen and chew the fuck out of whatever is in their way.

If those considerations weren’t enough, consider that the Appalachian Trail Conservancy (ATC), the folks in charge of protecting this national scenic trail, have fallen just short of making it mandatory to use bear canisters and ban bear sacks like other parks in the United States (and one along the AT already).

I say that the ATC has come just shy of doing so, because the outlook is not so good and their leadership continues to implore campers to voluntarily do so before it becomes law. As the ATC and other conservationists point out, “A fed bear is a dead bear.” If a bear gets used to raiding human areas for food, they are likely to be put down in order to avoid any potential accidents and confrontations.

Finally, there simply are fewer good hang spots as new thru-hikers continue to strip away and destroy lower branches to get to poorly hung bags. This also is a nightmare scenario for Leave No Trace practitioners who see valuable parts of the ecosystem getting pulverized underfoot by amateur tree-climbing campers.

Now on to the bear canisters. As a young camper, I also learned the value of caching food in airtight Coleman water coolers. Water coolers, however, were heavy. Bear canisters today are far lighter, compact and easy to carry. They can be strapped on to the outside of your pack or, as in my case, tucked into the backpack itself. That same canister and double as a stool or a table, and saves you a ton of time that would otherwise be dedicated to hanging a bag.

Did I mention that the ATC and National Parks and Forest services are pleading for campers to use these things as well? I really feel like I can’t mention that enough.

I chose the Wild Ideas Bearikade Weekender as my bear canister of choice to cache a hundred feet from my tent. While it is pricey, it is waaaaaay lighter than the competition, can hold six days of my food, has never been breached by a bear or other critter (unlike the competition or the other competition), will last as long as I plan to hike with it (which is at least about 8,000 miles for the Triple Crown), and can be resold for virtually the same amount as I paid for it new.

So, in conclusion, do not use your food as a pillow. I really love bears and don’t want to see them killed because they decided to go through your skull to get some Twinkies.

-AJ

Perhaps my finest 2 minute photoshop yet.

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